a wise man once told me that; when people tell you something for a long enough time you will eventually believe it. but Ive gone on my life without being directly told that I am a FAILURE or that I COULD HAVE DONE BETTER, instead my life consisted of looks and reactions and gestures and physical signs that made me the broken toy I am today. With an absent dad and a neglectful abusive mother and a drug addict grandmother ripping apart my mothers broken and abused soul it was hard to grow up when your suppose to be the oldest child yet the man of the house to make sure everyone is okay, that your mom has a shoulder to cry on and an everyday reminder why she goes to a shitty job and it was up to me to be the role model for my younger brother and things went great until he got into high school and thought that his mother was a psychopathy and that it was cool for him to move out at 16. Now no family is perfect I get that, I have had a good roof over my head with food in my belly and a good education but its the fact that I not only try to do whats right for everybody but I do whats right for everyone. You hear people complain about these choices and actions we all must take but if we do one thing for someone we might hurt someone else, well whats the harm in hurting yourself for the better cause? I may bitch and complain but every day is a new day and that day is for me. so no matter how broken my heart maybe or how bruised my soul is I am happy, not because of what is and what isn’t but because you tell yourself something for long enough you’ll soon start to believe it